Farewell for Now

Today at 8:15 am I said farewell to my husband and my children to their father. You would think knowing that we get to see him in 3 or 4 months it would not be that difficult. Well, it has been. Next to February 13th this day has been the worst day of my life. My two year old keeps asking where Daddy is. To me it is heart braking to see her confused. I hate to think that maybe she thinks he left again. I have tried to explain to her what is going on and that we will see Daddy soon... but to her soon is 5 minutes. I only hope that Daddy will be able to call a lot and talk to his little girl. She adores him yet their relationship is still in the growing and forgiving stage. I also worry that the twins will not remember him. They will do so much growing while he is gone. He missed all of that with Maggie and now he is missing it with the twins. I also worry about my sanity! haha I am use to doing most everything alone... not really having any help with the girls or the house. But the idea of him being there... in case anything happened or I needed help kept me some what sane. But now I don't even have that. What's more I am freaking out about trying to figure out how we are going to afford going down for his graduation. *sigh*

Once again I am worrying. Not giving it over to God. I am just scared out of my mind! I think I have spent most of my morning crying. If Stephen were here he would roll his eyes and tell me to stop being so emotional. I can't help myself! I wish we could go down to Florida the whole time! It would be so nice! Such a break from everything! I could stay in Orlando with my in-laws and visit Stephen on the weekends! *sigh* I need to just stop! I am making myself even more freaked out and making myself cry even more! Blah! I am such a weak person. I wish I could be stronger... I wish I could be a lot of things.