I am a very messed up person... so it seems anyway. I have fear issues... anger issues... well a lot of issues. My biggest issue though (well next to anger that is) is my problem of letting my mouth run before I actually think of what is coming out. This has gotten me into trouble on many occasions. It seems as if my mind is just one step behind my mouth. I will blurt something out and instantly know I shouldn't have said that. Picture a child placing her hands over her mouth, shocked that she just blurted out that secret she had sworn to her bestfriend she would keep! :) Now I don't blurt out secrets, but you get the idea.
Amazingly enough despite my issues, God has continued to bless me. Far beyond what I deserve. I know that God loves. He has a plan for my life. I know that He is helping me to gain freedom from the things that drag me down... freedom from my issues. It is a slow process though. I continually take one step forward and five steps backward. I struggle with giving God control and letting Him take me where He wants. I so often think that I can do just as good a job as God can. "I know what I am doing! I got this!" or so I say! Seems as if there are just certain life lessons that I have to learn over and over again. Which wouldn't be such a big deal if I was single and had no kids. But my issues and struggles not only effect me, but my husband and children too. Which makes it even more frustrating. You would think having them would help me learn faster... you would think.
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